1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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