If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
