I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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