Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
