If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
3pm strippers are depressing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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