Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
