Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
