"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
