I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
