Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
