We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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