I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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