Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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