ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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