just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
