Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
