So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the day after is always just damage control
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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