just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
