Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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