I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
