Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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