You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize