what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
