I'm so fucking centered right now
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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