i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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