You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
