it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
