She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
