"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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