I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I puked a lego.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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