Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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