We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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