so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
