i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
