And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
