I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
