We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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