Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
