have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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