Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize