So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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