At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize