so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
