I showed him my bush... on skype.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
