he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
