I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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