I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize