Jerry, you need to find god
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
