Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
