So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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