Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
