we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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