Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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