Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
