I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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