Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
