I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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