i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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