all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
