i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
