look no pants
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
