this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
